Without You it's a Waste of Time

At the sight of Metztli's change, Filippa felt her body wilt.
Way to go, reminding her of what you are, she thought. What were you expecting, that she'd risk it all to be with a flashy street urchin she had just met? She bowed her head submissively.
"What do you mean? You didn't do anything wrong, Captain, it's me, I'm sorry for being such an idiot,for starting things where I shouldn't have." What would this risk? Had she just lost her family's home by being too pushy? "I didn't think through how it would affect you if it, you know, got out. I mean, I kinda did see how this could benefit my family, what with you being Captain and all, but aaahhh, I was just being selfish. Like always."
She huffed as if she'd just run a race and slumped to the floor with a jingle. Burying her head in hands, she mumbled, "But it's not worth it. It's so selfish of me, please, forgive me-Metztli- I just, I know it's wrong, but I can't help but really like you. I really would very much like to kiss you, dance with you, talk to you, shop with you-- anything, anything with you. I don't know why- just that I'm sorry im so inconvenient." She stared out to Metztli's feet, hoping to get anything.
"If you want me to just go, I can. If my feelings embarrass you or get in your way, my family and I, I'll just disappear, okay?"

Seeing Filippa in such a sorry state shook Metztli out of her self-pitying despair. She slid off the bed so she was kneeling in front of Filippa. "Filippa," she reached out to touch her face, and drew it up so she could make eye contact. "Please, Filippa, I-- I... I am terrified of being alone." Her voice cracked. "Please don't leave me. It... it's been so long." She hoped the desperation in her face wasn't too much. "I don't care about your family, this isn't Manta, we are out here in the farthest corner of Terra. The frontier. I just want peace and so long as you keep it under control I will protect you, and them. Please don't go. Please." Tears were fighting to slip from her eyes but she held them in. Begging. She was begging.

She clenched her jaw and looked down at the floor. Please don't go. She hated how pathetic she'd become, how a few small gestures of affection had driven her to such need. Years of repressing those emotions had made her susceptible. This, this is why I fought so long to keep affection away. It hurts too much when something goes awry. I don't think I can survive this happening again.

Filippa blinked. "Wait, so you don't mind? You- I-- see this is what I mean, someone always gets hurt when you're dealing with other people!"
She smiled soft as cotton and placed her own hand on Metztli's shoulder. "I think we just misunderstood each other. It's gonna be okay, Metztli, okay? I just thought you wouldn't want to like me. It wasn't fair, me complicating things for you if you didn't want this. But it's okay, I'm not going to go if you don't mind me being here, okay? You won't have to be alone. I'm not leaving-" she grabbed her other shoulder and pulled her into her chest, wrapping her arms behind her "-not without kidnapping you at least."
No one, not a soul, had ever been this open with Filippa. Her nose and cheeks burned. She trusted her, she actually trusted her. This was what she wanted, just someone to believe her for once, someone who wasn't always hiding.
"I know how it feels, not to have anyone. But you don't have to worry- you don't have to be alone anymore, okay? That's not going to happen to you, okay? You don't have to be scared, okay?" She kissed the top of her head gingerly and waited.

Metztli gritted her teeth, but a few tears squeezed out regardless. She was glad her face was buried in Filippa's chest, she didn't want her to see. She took a few calming breaths, trying to regain her composure. She hadn't lost it like that in a long while, and not in front of anyone in years.

Her breathing steadied. She sat back so she could breathe better, trying to discreetly wipe away any moisture that may have found its way to her cheeks. "How have you been alone?" she asked, incredulity in her voice. "You have your family always with you. They would do anything for you."

Filippa tucked a strand of hair behind her captain's ear.
"Ah well, I actually haven't always had them- this family. I guess I haven't ever told you, or many folks for dat matter. My sister and I came to Whitewood cause we were, ehhhh, kicked out of our original family." She shifted uncomfortably. "And then, then she left me too. It was just.... very hard, and lonely, having always been surrounded by family until then."
Filippa looked up and gave a reassuring smile. "My current family is lovely too, but even them sometimes, sometimes I feel more like their mom than their friends. But I'm always so glad I can talk to you." She brushed her cheek; it was so amazingly soft, despite her hard, cold eyes.

"Ah, no... you had mentioned something like that when you bravely sat on the bridge with me." Metztli's brows knitted. "Being kicked out is worse than leaving of your own volition, I think." She reached up and brought Filippa's hand to her lips, kissing it gently. "I was forcibly 'suggested' to go on leave here, and that hurt worse than when I left my home village. I haven't heard from Radcliffe, or anybody. But I... I'm glad to be able to talk to you too." She let their hands fall into her lap, stroking Filippa's fingers absently. "After Pry left, I wasn't sure I'd have anyone to talk to. I know he wasn't great to you, or to many people, but he gave me sound advice when I woke up stripped of my dragon string, scared and alone in a town I had only just arrived in."

She turned the hand stroking into a massage, moving up slowly to her wrist. "I am happy you like me, Filippa. You are very important to me."

Filippa stared blankly at her hands, content to be touched. "It is hard, being forced away from your home- it takes away your agency, you know? I had sort of figured that out- that you'd been asked to leave, from my… research."
"And it's okay, I understand that Pry was very good to a lot of people. I don't hate him per se, we jus don't have the best of relationships." Filippa looked up and looked to her eyes. She smiled and huffed. "Thanks, Metztli. I am happy I have you to talk to too." She blushed and scratched the back of her head. "And it doesn't hurt dat you are ummmm very pretty."

Metztli blushed. "Thank you." Compliments were rare in her life. "So are you." She blushed more. "Could you tell I thought so? You are so beautiful. I've been trying not to stare when you are in the same room as me." And failing... That bright brown eye, those delicate features, the soft hair peeking out from beneath her hat, Filippa's charm was arresting. No wonder why she was so liked.

Metztli looked away at the surrounding beds. "This floor is getting uncomfortable. Can we move to at least sit on a bed? You always sit on the floor..."

"Well, I actually wasn't too sure, thus given the misunderstanding that just happened," she looked back to Metztli. "For a spy, I'm not too great at picking up on some things. I'm just really good at finding lost stuff, not reading people." She looked to a bed- it didn't look that comfortable, but if Metztli wanted it, then she'd happily oblige.
"I wouldn't mind getting up. I am just used to being on the floor- I should tell you about the time I was a rat," she said with a smirk. She took metztli's hands in hers and pulled her up with a bounce.
"Would you rather sit here or, um, lay down?"

Metztli laughed. "A rat? Please, do tell me. That explains the grubbing around under the porch looking for shinies." She sat on the bed and pulled Filippa to sit beside her. She wanted to cuddle, but felt drained and still a little confused. And maybe, just maybe, a little fearful of pushing her luck. She laid back across the bed so her legs were off of one side and her head the other. "I'm going to lay here, you do what you want, you can even sit on the floor if you like." She tilted her head up so she could look at Filippa. "I just wanted to be close to you."

Filippa climbed up to the bed and sat down beside Metztli. Stretched across the bed, she looked so tired and fragile; perhaps it was her posture, or the red around her eyes? Either way it was best not to push anything, she thought. Give them both time to calm down and all that.
But Filippa couldn't help but scan her as she lay there. Her curly bushel of hair floated from the bed, brushing against the floor, tempting her fingers to dive in.
"My sister Sorina, I told you about her fey abilities, yes? Well one day, we had to go and explore some of the iron mines around town. Don't ask me why; I can't honestly remember, all i remember is we weren't to be found. So Sorina turned us into rats!" She laid herself down beside her and curled up on the bed, though trying not to be close enough to disturb her. "It would be so useful to able to do now," she laughed.

Metztli changed her position to be curled up on her side next to Filippa, just enough to touch her. She needed to. She reached out and stroked Filippa's hair, gently brushing the tip of her ear. "Your sister sounds powerful. Hopefully she is doing alright with the strangeness going on with the Fae." She was feeling better, now, a little embarrassed but maybe that was just a constant with the territory of trusting someone with your vulnerability. "I'm not a fan of the Fae and how they play with mortals like we are nothing, their whims dictating our lives." Metztli moved her hand to stroke Filippa's cheek, enjoying the softness. "You really are beautiful," she blurted out.

Filippa grinned and sat up at the compliment. Like a big one-eyed cat, she leaned over Metztli, letting her gaze jump around her face- from her intense eyes to her soft nose to her rosy lips. She stood there, looming over Metztli for a second before she sprung and kissed her forehead.
She smirked as she sat back up again. "Yeah, you think I'm beautiful? How about dat!" She pretended to preen and fluff her hair.

She laughed. She is just too cute. A wave of fierce playfulness came over Metztli and she leapt suddenly, tackling Filippa gently onto the bed and pinning her shoulders down. A thrill of excitement ran through her and she kissed the tip of her nose.

She felt feral. Well, she cheers me up quick, apparently. She grinned, leaned back, and pushed Filippa playfully towards the edge of the bed. She wanted to playfight, she wanted to see Filippa's response and how willing she would be to it.

Also the eventual end result of Filippa's flushed face and panting breaths were a subconscious wish she wasn't quite cognizant of.

Filippa tried as best she could to scowl and look fierce, but she couldn't fight her own smile.
"Pushing around a nice girl like me! So rude!" She looked to her face, to her feet, to her face again, to her slightly exposed collar. How to get her back?
She went to push Metztli back at the shoulders, but tripped herself in her own skirt as she tried to scoot forward. With a flop, the bed and Filippa's face met, only inches from Metztli's leg. She continued to flail her arms, with her dignity already gone, hoping to at least find something ticklish.

Metztli laughed again and dodged Filippa's flailing arms, pouncing on her back. She straddled her and pushed down on her shoulders with her balled fists, then crouched low and pushed her nose into the back of Filippa's neck, threatening to bite. "Good job you did there," she murmured against her skin, hoping for a shiver. She began kneading Filippa's shoulders, knowing the tension relief would prevent her from striking back.

And, you know, to be nice. "Want to try that again?"

As Metztli's breath touch her skin, she shook and blushed. She felt the need to purr, but just managed a hushed "sorry".

Filippa tried half-heartedly to get up, but found Metztli's grip far more sturdy than she'd imagined. She knew she herself wasn't that strong, but she'd imagined she would have had a fighting chance. A series escape options ran through her mind. But she didn't think too hard. As much as giving in was not her style, this wasn't a terrible place to be.

She bucked up her hips, hoping to at least through Metztli off for a moment, as she rolled around onto her back

Now it was Metztli's turn to blush as she found herself straddling Filippa's stomach. if anyone walks in here... Ah, but no matter. She placed a hand on Filippa's thin neck and pressed gently, marvelling at how delicate she was. She crouched in again and grazed her teeth along the outer rim of Filippa's ear. "Come on, savior of Terra, is that all you've got?" She whispered, teasing. She reached with her other hand for Filippa's wrist, hoping to trap it.

Filippa felt her wrist being pressed into the bed, and sighed at her situation. It seemed her plan of gettin a better view seemed to be failing, her left field of vision was dominated primarily by Metztli's mane of hair. Something else would have to do. "Well, I don't know if savior is da right word... As you can see I'm really not that strong. But I do have other talents!" She smiled softly and lifted her free hand to Metztli's collarbone. Softly at first, she let her fingers run across her muscles, slowly, slowly working her hand deeper until she found the dip between her bones and muscles.

"I'm not too bad at massages, you know," she said. As quickly as she could, she pulled her pinned wrist inward, holdin onto the hand that was gripping it, while pressing forward against Metztli's shoulder with the other hand. Maybe, just maybe, the torque and surprise would be enough to flip her.

Metztli melted at the touch of Filippa's fingers. Lulled into a sense of false security, Filippa's quick flip caught her off guard and she want sprawling backwards. She half fell off the bed but grabbed the side, keeping herself balanced on the edge of the mattress. She feral grinned. "You don't have to be strong if you're clever, sneaky thing." She felt alive and bitey. It felt good to play, especially with someone so cute, who returned her affections.

She leaned back onto the bedpost, exposing her belly much like a cat and affixing Filippa with a taunting stare. She held her arms up at the ready to catch any incoming attacks, then poked at her with her foot. "What else are you good at?"

Filippa giggled and slowly scooted forward on her skirt, eyes still locked with Metztli.  
"Dat's pretty much it- I'm good at tricks and talking to people."  She felt her nerves melting away- she was good at those things, wasn't she.  She'd almost forgotten that she wasn't a mess in all things.
How had tricks and playing of all things become foreign to her?  She felt so free, so energetic, like the kind of release she felt when she was alone and could forget all the struggles and stresses of life.    
"I feel like I've known you before- you make me feel like me again," she said.
She swatted at Metztli's hand and pounced- she wanted to be the one doing the pinning this time round.

Metztli opened her arms to catch Filippa's pounce, shifting so she would land laying down so she didn't smack her head on the bedpost. Filippa's weight drove her down into the mattress. Metztli hooked a leg around Fililppa's but found her foot caught in voluminous skirt, which made the next part of her escape plan rather difficult without actually throwing Filippa off the bed.

She decided against that.

Instead, she relaxed and leaned back, her mane of hair cushioning beneath her head, watching Filippa's face brighten. "If you knew Taka, you knew at least a part of me. Or, well, of what I was. Maybe that's it." Her face puzzled. "This is confusing, and you're making it hard to focus, cute girl."

Filippa smiled at her little victory, but it faded quickly.
Poor Metztli, am I just making things more difficult? She sat up again on Metztli, her hands resting softly on the curve of her captain's waist. She blushed and tensed as she moved herself back closer to her hips, but tried to focus her attentions to their conversation.
"I don't want to be confusing you, Metztli. Do you want to talk about it before we keep… fighting?" She looked along Metztli's torso, stretched out before her, and inhaled sharply. "Where I am sitting somewhere else I mean. I can move."

"What? No, that's not what I- please don't move." She flushed. I gotta stop saying things like that, she's too considerate. "It's really not important, just a passing thought." Spirits, how she wanted this girl. Somehow she knew all the right physical buttons to press while seeming somewhat innocuous. That's how they get you, silly. The Gypsies are notorious for that. But no, Filippa seemed genuine. And beyond that, so, so touchable.

Metztli put her hands out to rest on Filippa's thighs, gently petting them with her thumbs. "Plus, this is too much fun to stop." The rain had truly picked up now and was hammering on the roof. She worked her hands up to Filippa's hips, slowly. She wasn't in too much of a rush to get out of this position; having Filippa perched on her was incredibly alluring.

Filippa nodded, but still seemed concerned. "O-okay, eef you are sure! But-" she lifted one hand scratched nervously at the back of her head, "eef you want to talk later, that's fine too, really!"

The little gypsy was happy to be sitting still for a moment- even just the little bit of wresting had tired her out. Or maybe it was her nerves? Either way, a moment of peace was appreciated.

She closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the torrents outside, feeling Metztli's heavier breath rise and fall and her hands pressing onto her hips. She bit her lip and smiled.
Soon, it won't be so peaceful, she thought. She'll be pouncing at me and tossing me around. But now, in this moment, Filippa felt as if she could just fall asleep entirely.